If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize