hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
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fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
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My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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