So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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