We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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