Where did you get a picture of my penis
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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