The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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