If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He passed out mid-signature
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize