he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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