my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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