if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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