Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
not ubering you a puppy
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize