I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize