I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
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You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
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is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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