Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
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I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
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Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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