Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize