Say something about gay babies.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
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I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
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I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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