So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
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Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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