Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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