My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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