He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
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You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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