if you like me you must not know who I am
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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