if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
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thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
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Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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