I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
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So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
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Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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