Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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