i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
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I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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