maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
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I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
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I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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