i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
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He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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