Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
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Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
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I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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