are you so shy because you have an std?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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