Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
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And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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