Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize