Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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