If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize