We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize