Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize