Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize