You just made me feel so damn special
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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