OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
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Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
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can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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