Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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