I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize