Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize