you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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