You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
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Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
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You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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