just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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