she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
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in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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