The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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