i just google imaged poop.
Do vagina's smell?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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