So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
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The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
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We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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