I love black thongs
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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