Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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