You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize