she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize