My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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